By Tim Dorsey
There's a distinct schemer or slimeball in the back of each door: cocaine duckpins who've survived in simple terms via the dumbest fortune, hard-luck gigolos eager to rating, undercover law enforcement officials busting undercover police officers who're working sting operations on undercover law enforcement officials. And simply down the row, neighborhood historian and spree killer Serge A. Storms -- who has stopped maintaining together with his meds -- remains to be trying to find a briefcase filled with 5 million dollars...and is now able to wreaking extra havoc than storm Rolando-berto, the massive wind accumulating strength offshore, simply looking ahead to the chance to blow every little thing immediately to hell.
Pack up your luggage and head south to sunny Florida. go away your rational brain at domestic and are available good armed. there is a room along with your quantity on it on the Hammerhead Ranch Motel.
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Additional resources for Hammerhead Ranch Motel (Serge Storms)
Why do they are saying the beverages are king-size, like that’s the largest attainable comparability. examine Prince Charles—no superlatives are evoked there,” acknowledged Lenny. “You wanna get my funds? begin conversing a few dictator or a conqueror. Like Attilasized, or Stalin-sized! …” “What the fuck’s he speaking approximately? ” Zargoza requested Serge. “Free-associating,” acknowledged Serge. “I’ve noticeable this kind of factor prior to. Verbal incontinence. simply vomiting phrases. ” “When does it cease? ” requested Zargoza. “It doesn’t,” acknowledged Serge. “Not with out intervention. ” Zargoza glanced again at Lenny after which at Serge. “We’re up subsequent on the ordering microphone. you must suppress that shit with prejudice. ” Serge circled and gave Lenny the mondo eye, which made Lenny tremendous paranoid, and he grew to become quiet. “That may still do it,” acknowledged Serge. “He’ll cross on an introspective trip now. yet be ready. We may well pay attention weeping. ” Zargoza rolled as much as the menu board. The small steel speaker got here on. “May I take your order? ” “Yes,” acknowledged Zargoza. “I’d like your mega-combo meal…number twelve. Do i am getting the Galactic bloodbath taking part in items with that? ” “Yes, you do. ” “Okay, and I’ll take the extra-crunchy fried chook dermis on a stick…” Lenny leaned over the aspect of the auto towards the speaker. “Hitler-size my french fries! ” “What? ” acknowledged the speaker. “Saddam-size my apple pies! ” “Can you repeat that? ” stated the speaker. “Shut that motherfucker up! ” Zargoza yelled at Serge. “Excuse me? ” acknowledged the speaker. “I wasn’t speaking to you! ” Serge climbed within the backseat and grabbed Lenny in an entire nelson. “Where have been we? ” Zargoza requested the clerk. “Number twelve, poultry pores and skin on a stick. ” “Can I replacement cole slaw for the mashed potatoes? ” Lenny broke loose from Serge and leaned out the automobile back. “Ho Chi Minh my fowl pores and skin! ” “I’m getting the manager,” stated the speaker. Zargoza floored it throughout the drive-through, snapping off a sideview replicate. “Goddammit! ” he yelled because the automobile bottomed out onto U. S. 19. “I was once hungry, too! ” They headed again around the Howard Frankland Bridge and took West Shore all the way down to Gandy. A crimson Audi with tinted home windows pulled along at a stoplight. Zargoza appeared over. “Twats! ” “What is it? ” acknowledged Serge. “Those rattling Diaz Boys! ” the sunshine grew to become eco-friendly and either autos patched out and drag-raced all of the method to Bayshore. on the crimson gentle, the Audi’s tinted home windows went down and shotguns seemed. “What’s this approximately? ” Zargoza shouted at Tommy Diaz. “Safety inspection,” acknowledged Tommy. “You wouldn’t brain if we checked your trunk, could you? We’ve been listening to rumors. Beemers occasionally have pricey unfastened items again there which could create a chance. ” “Sure,” acknowledged Serge. “But you’ll need to race us for the chance. ” “We don’t have to race. we've the weapons. ” “You even have the tiniest balls this part of the squirrel family,” acknowledged Serge. “I was once taking into account slicing ’em off and feeding ’em to my poodle as a brand new between-meals deal with, due to the fact that they’re no longer too filling. ” “Don’t ya simply love this man! ” Zargoza known as out the window.